By the time our daughter was seven months old, she had been happily trained to find sustenance from my wife's breasts. She would suck with relish at long lengths, bringing perspiration to the top of her downy-haired head. My daughter did not have to wait long for her feedings, as by now my wife and I were well attuned to her fussing movements prior to her vocal warnings of encroaching hunger.

One afternoon, my wife had to dress quickly and depart for an evening appointment connected with her employment. My daughter began her fussing movements, but when she spied her mother bring a bra up over her breasts, she must have realized that a feeding was not imminent: She wailed and bawled.

I tried to comfort my daughter, but no amount of loving and snuggling would avert her attention away from her growing hunger. By now, though, I was an old hand, and gaily suggested to my wife not to worry: I would just retrieve a bottle that she had earlier expressed to hold in the freezer for times just like these.

I was on my way to the freezer when my wife told me that she had not had a chance to make a new batch of breast milk. She began to reach for the baby, but I told her she was late for her appointment, and that I would suckle our daughter on my breast.

My wife, although incredulous, knew well by now that I thought Nature had gypped men in not allowing us to have babies and not allowing us to physically nurture them. I placed the howling baby on the bed for a minute to release my torso from the confines of its shirt.

I told my wife that our daughter would probably be placated at my breast just from the sucking ritual, because it hadn't been too long ago that she was fed from the real fountain of life.

We three held a collective breath as the room fell quiet: My daughter's silence bought by the enticing nipple now delighting her eyes; my wife's from curiosity, and maybe from fear that she could be replaced--even if only for a short while; and I from guilt that I might be committing a crime against Nature, and perpetrating a deception of extraordinary proportion on my unsuspecting daughter.

Within the space of the first few seconds of the great breast-feeding experiment's inception, air filled the room again as we released the collective breath: My wife's from laughter at my daughter's and my expressions--and possibly from relief at the experiment's obvious failure; my yowl of disbelief at the unexpected force of my daughter's gums clamping around my tender nipple; and my daughter's expression--a look of betrayal the likes of which I had never seen.

With the baby's howling protests at the emptiness of my nipple's promise of sustenance, my wife unhooked her bra and rode to the rescue. Our daughter fell quiet amid contented sighs (punctuated every so often with glowers and growls directed at me). Her head became hot and she fell asleep; my wife finished dressing; I felt gypped as I nursed my sore nipple.

The great breast-feeding experiment was never repeated. My triumphant wife was late to her appointment, but her humming told me she did not care. As for my daughter twenty-five years later, she is just now beginning to trust me again.

It's That Thinking About Food
Time of Year Again

excerpted from our November 2001 issue

• 1 in 7 children have received an unwanted sexual solicitation on the Internet by a stranger - wanting to meet them.
• In the United States, there are more than 600,000 convicted sex offenders, with a growth rate estimated at 10% per year.
• 10,000 of "the most dangerous" sex offenders are on parole.
• The Internet provides child pornographers with the means to lure and seduce children into becoming "the product" and provides an easy and lucrative distribution channel for this 20 billion dollar annual industry - one that nets more than all online music sales worldwide.

• Talk to your children openly and take an "actual" interest in their online activities. Ask them to show you some of the sites they like and some of the games they like to play. Get involved. If it's appropriate, play some games with your child.
• Implement safe online strategies in your home:
  • Keep their computer in an open area
  • Establish family rules
  • Limit the amount of time they spend on the computer and what time the computer must be turned off
  • Remind them that people aren't always who they say they are
  • Tell them that whatever photos or information they post online is available to anyone "forever" and could embarrass them or expose them to danger
  • If they are being cyber-bullied or harassed online, they need to let you know.
  • Don't be afraid to contact the police if they are being victimized online.

• BEFORE you can set up a Myspace.com account, you first have to make up a screen name to use on the new email account you're going to set-up with Hotmail. To do that, you're going to go to Yahoo.com or MSN.com.
  • If you want to use Yahoo, go to www.yahoo.com home page, then look for the link that says "Free Mail Sign Up" and click on it. If you want to use MSN, go to the www.msn.com home page and then look for: "Hotmail".
  • Whichever site you have chosen, the next step is to "sign up" for the FREE email account and follow the directions on the screen.
  • Without using any personal information, CREATE a screen name and a password. Since you'll need this information whenever you log in, it's best to print this page out so you don't forget what you selected.
    When you select a screen name remember:
    DO NOT USE: Your real first and/or last name
    
    Your location (i.e. nashvillecutie)
    Your zip code
    A provocative or suggestive name (i.e. im2hot4u)
    Any pornographic or obscene words
    
  • Go to your new email account and open the email in your new mailbox. This will "confirm" your account and give you valuable information and tips.

• Go to www.myspace.com
• Click on the orange button that says "Sign Up".
• Type in your new email address and screen name.
• Type in the verification code listed at the bottom.
• Click "Sign Up"
• Once on "your" Myspace page, you'll be asked to set up your profile. Don't add your real name or any nickname to the member directory. Also, list your age as that of your child.
• While still on your Myspace page, click "Search" or browse at the top of the page so you can find other Myspace member pages.

• The best and easiest way is to have an open conversation with your child and ask them to show you their Myspace page name (i.e. dancingdiva) and their Myspace page. If you know their Myspace page name, it would look like this: http://www.myspace.com/dancingdiva
• If, on the other hand, you think it's best to monitor your child's activity without their knowledge, you'll have to do some research: Try searching Myspace by using the "Search" box; Type in their actual name, name of their school, or email address in the "Find A Friend" space. If that doesn't work, try finding them through their friends who also have Myspace pages. Once you find one friend, usually you'll be able to find and access other friend's Myspace sites, too. This is important because you will be able to see what your child's friends are posting. You may be surprised to find some photos of your child on their site.

• Purchase Key Logging software. It can be installed in your child's computer and remotely send a report to you of all the websites, screen names, passwords, emails and other content that your child uses and accesses. Keep in mind that Windows XP has different accounts that you may create as an "administrator". If you have any questions, go to the Windows "Help" button and follow the directions. Safety Software:
• www.Software4parents.com and www.com-guard.com lists a variety of keylogging and other safety software such as: eblaster, Spector, NetNanny, Net Detective, IamBigBrother; SecurePC, SafePC, Computer Safe

Safety Tips:
• Kids want to post pictures of themselves online. Encourage them to use photos of things they like to do, such as, if they like to sail, use a photo of a sailboat; or suggest they use an "avatar". This is a picture that looks like a cartoon.
• Tell your tween or teen not to use any numbers in their screen name that might indicate their age, such as "beachbabe13". This not only indicates this child's age, but that they live at the beach and they are a girl.
• Instant Messaging or IM: This is a common way in which youth communicate with each other instantaneously. They should NOT post their IM name on their Myspace website because it will give anyone visiting their site instant contact with them.
• Tell your kids that if they don't know someone personally who is contacting them through IM or on their site, to ban them.
• Have your kids set the privacy setting as a means to block out anyone they don't know. Keep in mind, that it is not totally private. People can contact them through their approved friends sites that do not have the privacy controls set.
• Make sure that you know everyone that is on your tween or teen's buddy list. You never want them to be communicating with anyone they only know through the computer.