A Real Magazine. News, Writing, Interviews from LadybugBooks.com.

Salvation
from Georgia Jones

Even thinking about the beach before late June was unusual for Frieda, but here she was with all three children in tow heading to that very location. It had been a cold winter inside and out. A heat wave in early May was just what she and the children needed: warmth and the beach.

The children knew, as children always do, that things weren't, as adults say, right at home. Today they didn't care. They were behaving like cooperative angels on the long bus ride. Frieda could only think of them as angels today. They were trying so hard. They were so excited. This was exactly right, Frieda thought, tingling with her own anticipation.

Frieda sat with her arm draped around Hector, the youngest and Frieda's baby. He was about to explode with excitement. Sophie and Herman sat in front of them beneath piles of towels and toys; heads popping up, peering over the top of the seat every few minutes, necks twisting to see Frieda and Hector; squirming and poking at each other as they always did on family vacations. This past year had been hardest on the older children. They had gown up fast. As the oldest, they knew more of what tensions and silences meant, and they all felt a need to protect Hector. Today none of that mattered. They were children again, children in their element.

They lived for those summer excursions. Most summers the trip was accomplished by car; the whole family, including Pappa and all of their beach gear, crowded into the sedan. Frieda didn't know how they had managed to carry everything onto the bus, but there they were. Pappa wasn't with them but they would have to get used to that.

Frieda felt a pang at the center of her soul. She would have to get used to that, not just being without Pappa but going forward on her own. Today, though, she was not going forward. Today she was reenacting a family ritual: Learning to be the same but different. Today they would have warmth and waves and sand in their clothes, and they would have each other. Frieda wanted to reach out and encircle all three children in her arms, pull them toward her, absorb their special warmth, but she was sweating already. Her skin prickled with the strangeness of this heat, and her clothes clung damp and tired in spite of Frieda's inner excitement. Such unusual weather for May!

Hector whined, "Are we here yet?" and Sophie turned to share a tired look with her mother. "Of course, not!" Sophie answered before Frieda could return from her private thoughts. "You'll see the red hotel when we get there. Watch out the window."

The red hotel was where they usually stayed on those family vacations to the beach. Today they would be catching the last bus back into the city. Not a real vacation but the best Frieda could do.

Almost without warning, it seemed, the red hotel appeared on the right. Hector bounced up and down in his seat. "We're here! We're here." Yes, we're here thought Frieda, but why? She was suddenly overcome by the seriousness of her situation and the feeling that this day was just one more wrong choice in her life. There were so many things she had to do, practical things, things to take care of their future. She couldn't afford the indulgence of a day at the beach.

The two older children bounded off the bus, unrestrained at last, running across the street that separated them from the taunting splash of waves. Frieda was distracted by the garish red of the hotel. It held the most cherished memories of the past dozen years of her life. Now she would walk passed it, cross the road and go on, without stopping there.

Little Hector hurried after his longer legged siblings, not held back by Frieda's cautious hand for once. He rushed onto the empty road but stopped midway; his face that had been full of anticipation suddenly twisted with shock and pain. His towel dropped to the ground. His yellow sand pail followed and then the shovel, and Hector began to wail, a look of horror on his face, turned now to look half in awe at the burning asphalt that seemed to hold him there.

For an instant it sounded to Frieda as if her own pain had finally escaped—That scream of shock and lost promise must be coming from her. Then she realized it was Little Hector's cry. Frieda ran into the road; scooped up Hector, the towel, the pail, the shovel, and carried them to the other side.

Safely across, Frieda turned to look back at the hotel. It seemed far off now, though it was only the effect of the heat on the air that gave it that wavy unreal look. Frieda patted Hector, cooing her reassuring mother sounds until his tears were not even a memory. They were there now, at the beach. The red hotel and the past it held was on the other side, obscured by the haze of heat and soon to be eliminated by time itself. They had safely crossed the moat of burning asphalt and Frieda was ready to get sand in her shoes and feel the breeze in her hair. She might even catch a wave while they were here.

Read this feature from past issues.

The Ultimate Gestalt
from Maria Fairbanks

Maria's story last month touched so many people that we asked her to continue. This will be the second of a total of three parts.

A successful kidney transplant from my more-than-a-friend Sue and a return to my own life in my cabin soon brought my physical status as close to normal as it probably will ever be. At first, walking every day and eating well, reveling in the love of my community, and catching up on the hundreds of details in my life which had been neglected during my fifteen month journey into and out of kidney failure took all my time and energy. I spent hours at the Fire Hall, checking and repairing all the equipment and arranging for a new training class. With fourteen new qualified emergency medical personnel, I opted to 'retire' from my volunteer position of Emergency Medical Services Director and turn it over to the new members. I planned my return to my 'other' life in Mexico and the painting of a large mural on the side of the hot springs bath house here in Alaska. Everything was coming together for me again, and I felt myself returning to normal.

I returned home to Alaska in September and by February I was ready to return to my second hometown, a small village in Mexico. My friends there were anxious to see me restored to health, and I was anticipating with delight our reunion and the flora and fauna that would greet me there.

I left my village in a remote part of Alaska on a seven hour boat ride to the nearest city with an international airport which would soon take me south of the border. While in the city, I went in for a my monthly series of blood tests to make sure my new kidney was functioning correctly and none of the opportunistic fungi, bacteria, cancers, and viruses that can attack a person on anti rejection drugs which suppress the immune system were present. Excited as I was to be on my way, to completely 'change the channel' away from the medical nightmare I had managed to survive, I did not feel very well. I did not let that stop me; I packed my bag with three sundresses, a pair of sandals, and with my banjo in hand made my final preparations to be on my way.

About seven o'clock the evening after my blood tests I suddenly became nauseous, vomiting, and I realized I was becoming seriously ill. Then a terrible pain started and began to get worse and worse. I could not straighten up, I could barely walk. I managed to get into the emergency room where they quickly sedated me and diagnosed my condition as gall stones. They planned a surgery for the next day, although concerns for my complicated health delayed it for another 24 hours.

The pain was horrible, and intravenous dilaudid could only keep the pain just this side of intolerable. The memories of the extraordinarily terrible pain caused by a problem after a kidney biopsy and the impinged nerves in two of my vertebrae after the transplant surgery flooded back to me. These were acute pains that made the regular pain of my five surgeries or the grinding and ongoing slow death of dialysis seem minor in intensity.

I thought I had recovered psychologically from the sheer physical pains I had suffered, but I was wrong. In addition to the pain I was now in from the gall stones and what turned out to be a necrotic gall bladder, I was terrified that the pain would go on and on...as it had before. A physician I did not much like despite his best efforts to be likable successfully removed my gall bladder and with my money and time gone, I gave up my plans to go south and returned instead to my village.

Everything was frozen and it was an extraordinary winter for snow. Everyday there was water to be hauled up the side of the mountain to my cabin and snow to be shoveled down to the main trail so I could go to the post office, the public hot springs to bathe, and to visit friends. My partner of thirty years was there and helped, as did other friends.

One important thing I learned and have since put into successful practice is this: when a person has troubles and needs help, find a chore you can do for them and do it. Ask politely first, and do not expect gratitude. Take this opportunity to learn to pat yourself on the back. One of the least effective expressions of care is to say "If you need anything, just give me a call." This places the burden of asking on the person with troubles. It is hard to ask for help, and increases one's feelings of helplessness and dependency. Just find something to do—ask politely if it's OK—and do it. Don't wait around for a call and don't wait around afterwards for a thank you.

Just as I was beginning to get my strength and even some of my courage back, nine months after my transplant, one month after the removal of my gall bladder, my partner had a seizure and died in the hot springs bath.

Nobody could understand me now. I couldn't understand me now.

Until the last two years, I had always had perfect health and my partner had been with me most of my adult life.

Now, who am I?

So in addition to the loss of my kidneys and the fifteen months it took to get a transplant, the gall bladder emergency, the cancelled trip I had counted on as therapeutic, my life partner was sitting on my bookshelf in a box in the form of about five pounds of ashes.

Sometimes remembering that other people suffer grief and losses much greater than my own causes a wellspring of gratitude for what does remain to me. Other times this thought does not touch me or strengthen me in any way. There is no constant antidote to sorrow. Everything depends; everything depends on everything else in simple and intricate connection. In a like manner, sorrow must be approached, embraced, integrated, and acted upon in the here and now. Grief is growth and in this is its own cure and healing. If nothing else, grief requires us to be present in the here and now. It may be the ultimate gestalt.

Struggling to find a once-and-for-all-cure for the grief and losses that overwhelm me would only be another form of denial. As I am a growing being, there is no fixed cure. I can not look forward to being who I was before all this happened to me---the clock can not be stopped or set back.

Before I dreamed, was dreaming and was the dreamer. Now I am also changed, changing, and the changer. As I integrate the all this into my current self, I become the new self this
integration creates. Harmony and balance remain my goal; gentleness is my objective. I am present to the continuum of life.
Learning to change as a result of the growing process and not as the result of pain accelerates my personal growth exponentially. I found that a potential pain is pre-empted as I change with personal growth as my motivation and energetic fuel. After so many years spent changing mainly as the function of growth and growing as the function of change it comes almost as a terrible surprise that once again change is accompanied by pain, the pain of loss.

I remember within two hours after my mother's death my sister was saying, "Everything is OK; Granny is in heaven now." Her belief system circumvented, at least on the surface and for the time being, the pain of the loss. For myself, static explanations do not resonate. What resonates is who I am, and who I am becoming.

I met Maria during this saga and talked to her for the first time when she was in the hospital waiting for her transplant. We hope she will be back with more of her writing in the future; perhaps fiction next?

Read this feature from past issues.

You can see more by David Donar at http://politicalgraffiti.wordpress.com/.

Read this feature from past issues.

Fun with Alpha

Summertime, vacation time, a good time to explore. I found a delightful companion for exploring all kinds of information in Wolfram Alpha. As an example of what it could do, I went to www.wolframalpha.com and input "Kansas City weather" in the search box. It gives me a table and graphs of current and forecast weather information, not only the current temperature—too hot—as well as historical information. If I click on the drop down box on the "weather history and forecast" graph, I have lots of choices of the data I want to see, ranging from one day to ten years.

Alpha is a new search engine, but with a different slant on the information it provides. It is the brainchild of Stephen Wolfram, the developer of the wonderful mathematics program Mathematica. It calls itself a computational knowledge engine. That means it not only gathers facts but also computes with them, like the graphs in the weather example above. The ultimate goal is ambitious: "Wolfram Alpha's long-term goal is to make all systematic knowledge immediately computable and accessible to everyone. We aim to collect and curate all objective data; implement every known model, method, and algorithm; and make it possible to compute whatever can be computed about anything. Our goal is to build on the achievements of science and other systematizations of knowledge to provide a single source that can be relied on by everyone for definitive answers to factual queries."

They are not there yet, but it is exciting to see what they can do. I typed in "body mass index". Type in a weight of 138 and height of 5'5", gives the result that the BMI is 23. There follow graphs and charts which can help interpret this information.

It shines at comparisons. I typed in "earth mars" to find a comparison between the two, and found comparisons of the two atmospheres, distances from the sun, periods, and number of moons, as well as pictures and a star chart of the sky with their current positions as seen from Kansas City.

Kansas City? How do they know that? I discovered you can type in " "where am I?" in the search box. It told me that my provider is Earthlink and I am in Kansas City, Missouri! Correct on both counts.

There is a lot of serious information here�searchers can look up DNA sequences or physics computations and many other very technical and specialized things. And the information is curated� that means humans check it. Alpha does not just pull information from random websites. It is a wonderful tool if you ask it the right questions.

So go ahead and ask it: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

Read this feature from past issues.

The Mommy connection

Have you been half-asleep?
And, have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.

I know a man wrote "The Rainbow Connection". It probably has nothing to do with a mom sleeping but I am tempted to think that his sleep-deprived wife penned the three lines above. There is something about those midnight groggy visits and plaintive calls for mom that make these words take on a new meaning. In a recent commercial for cold medicine, the mom hears the word "Mom" called from the child's bedroom. She takes a moment to decide if it is a "Mom" that means "Get me a drink of water" or "I'm sick, please come comfort me until the sun comes up". There really is a distinctive difference between the two that keeps Mom on alert even after the sun goes down.

I also read somewhere that men don't adjust as well to the less-sleep situation that comes from having kids and that women can quickly adjust to interrupted and less sleep after giving birth. Nighttime for me has varied greatly. It started with my own childhood nights when I wanted to stay up late with everyone else. I quickly moved onto needing more sleep, as I got older and then back to no sleep as I wrote college papers and crammed for tests. When I had both kids, it seemed as if my need for sleep decreased and that I could survive (and sometimes even accomplish a lot) with much less sleep than I thought I needed.

I wish now that there was a sleep bank that I could store sleep time from those years when it was such a luxury to sleep in or when I felt invincible enough to stay up all night. I would bank a few extra hours for when the stomach flu hits or when the tornado alarm goes off at 3:00 AM. While both kids are blessings, sleeping is not something that they do easily. Joel finally started sleeping a good solid night when he turned five. Emily is still working towards that.

I have probably taken a rather non-conventional approach to their sleep habits. Outside of the house, we don't discuss much where they sleep but I expect other households have a similar arrangement out of sheer sleepless desperation. When we came home from the hospital with Joel, he had spent a week being poked and prodded under bright lights every few hours. I tried with all my being to nurse him, rock him, and put him to bed. He hated the crib. I hated being up all night long. After a few months, I found the ease of co-sleeping and nursing. We both got sleep.

We both got a little lazy. When Emily came home from the hospital, he was still sleeping next to me. Knowing of the pain of the earlier method of getting him to sleep, I simply scooted him over a little and moved Emily in next to me. The cycle continued but I got some sleep. With both of them arriving by c-section, it made the entire transition easier as bending over and rocking was excruciating. Simply cuddling with them and going back to sleep or just staying drowsy during nursing was so much less painful.

We are now coming up on the point in Emily's life when Joel moved into his own bed. With few exceptions (owies, the flu, thunderstorms), he sleeps alone without any fear or overnight wakings. He has no fears or bad memories associated with going to bed. The routine we have works.

Emily has a big girl bed. She is ready to make the transition and has even declared she will move forward with her plan to be a big girl. There is something that keeps her from making the move. The cry-it-out method never worked for us as infants and as a preschooler, I doubt that method would make her sleep any better now. In fact, my thought would be that it would induce trauma. I know that we will find a routine for her to sleep alone with confidence too.

Even as both of the kids move into their own beds, I know there will be nights they return due to thunder or a bad dream. I want them to have those delicious mornings sleeping in on freshly laundered sheets or the excitement of getting up early to watch cartoons on a Saturday morning.

I now figure that I haven't slept a full complete night since I got pregnant with Joel eight years ago. I will count these years as another part of my sleep calendar. There will be years later on to sleep in when the day doesn't even require it. These are the years I was half-asleep, hearing voices calling my name. I know which voice sounds mean I am needed immediately. I know that the voices are an arms-length away or a few steps down the hallway. They are the voices calling my name. When that name is Mom, the day and the night are both times to answer.

Read this feature from past issues.

Day Care Toileting Accidents

Every day care operator is familiar with the dreaded words 'I've had an accident' or 'I didn't make it to the toilet'. Toileting accidents are part and parcel of the preschool experience as valiant little ones embark on the whole potty training procedure and seasoned toileters lapse.

Maybe children are just too immersed in play to even register the need to go to the bathroom, or the message from young bladders just doesnt travel quickly enough to the brain or a child simply feels a little under the weather but, whatever the reason, these leakages can, and will occur.

Either way, we day care owners must be on hand to clean up both child and bathroom, comfort with encouraging words and get smiles back on faces as confidence rebuilding occurs.

So, what simple steps can we take to minimize toileting accidents and ease the clean up process. Key here is to be up to speed on each child's level of development, aware of their routines and prepared to offer frequent reminders to go to the potty. Visiting the toilet on a regular basis is the habit you are instilling in the child (even if they dont actually go every time). All attempts are an achievement and should be commended. Keep you eyes peeled for the kids who hold it with crossed legs because they dont want to be distracted from a game or activity.

A quick clean up can be achieved by having the potty accident emergency pack to hand near each bathroom and this vital item should contain gloves, sanitizer, large absorbent tissues and disposable shoe covers. Ensure you can easily access the childs spare clothes bag (a reserve stash of three sets of clothes should be a requirement for each potty training child) and have a plastic bag in the emergency pack for any soiled items). Make sure and sanitize the base of any shoes that may have trodden in any unsavoury substances.

All the above steps can help to ease everyone through these little dramas. Remember, these accidents are destined to occur and its not advisable to get caught out. Be prepared and you can sail through each episode.

As a day care owner Fiona Lohrenz has extensive experience of childcare which she writes about on her website. She has also used this knowledge to produce a 'Start a Daycare Business' DVD guide: Starting A Daycare You can find her at her Day Care focused website.

Read this feature from past issues.

Living Spirit

"We were all born wild like a mountain lion. To live in civilization we become sheep at a very young age. We become tame. But we are not house pets. We are fierce and wild by nature."

Many years ago, very early in my work with the Sisterhood of the Shields, Twin Dreamers, one of my shaman teachers said to me, "Lynn, dream on these words. Consider what is left of your instinctual nature. When you see a horse, you become both happy and sad. That horse represents the wildness within yourself that you have never dared to become."

I was stunned by her words, for they revealed an essential truth in my search for a higher understanding of life that I had never dared to voice.

I had known since I was a small child that there was something missing from my world, something that I yearned for with every fiber of my being yet could not begin to understand. I have even ridden horses all my life, racing across the landscape of my childhood with my best friend, Beverly, a Native American girl the same age as I. On horseback, we followed the clouds, pretending we were stars in the sky as we chased each other across the universe. During those long, beautiful days, I felt more complete and perfect within myself than at any other time.

As an adult, galloping across the plains on the back of a magnificent Arabian mare, I still get that same sense of perfection. Yet until Twin Dreamers spoke those words to me, I did not equate the feeling of perfect completion within me when I am on horseback as the fulfillment of my wild, instinctual nature. I only knew that when I ride horses, I feel closer to God than at any other time.

How do you experience God in your life, the Great Spirit, the presence of divine harmony in whatever form you know it? For me, I know that I am one with the Great Spirit when I am living my own truth. That happens when I stand in the center of my own being. It happens when I stand in the center of my own personal truth and not what someone else tells me the 'truth' of any given situation should be.

How often have you heard someone say, "This is the way it's supposed to be (whatever 'it' is). It's the way it always has been and the way it always will be?" And every fiber of your being is crying out, "No it isn't. You're wrong. Nothing could be further from the truth." Yet not only do you say nothing, which is sometimes the only thing you can say in the face of such adamance, you decide there must be something wrong with you for disagreeing so completely. The more strongly you disagree, perhaps, the worse you feel about yourself until you walk away feeling wholly defeated, hobbled by some unseen force that obviously wishes you nothing but ill will.

That is the way it feels when we deny the existence of our own personal truth. It feels worse than the worst insult anyone else can hurl, crippling to the point of total personal defeat.

On the other hand, it feels so exhilarating when you say to yourself, "You know what? I couldn't disagree with you more. Maybe I can't change the way you think, and maybe now's not even the time to try. But I couldn't disagree with you more, and I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to think what you think; I'm not going to believe what you believe. It may be your truth, but it's not mine and it's no part of me." And you walk away feeling so good about yourself, so personally empowered, so completely right with life.

That is the way it feels to stand in the center of your own personal truth. The most wonderful part of it is that your own personal truth resides at the very center of your being, and that is the place where you are one with the Great Spirit and all that is in the universe. What a fabulous place to be!

The truth is within your own heart and within your own soul. Whenever you become lonely or afraid, all the answers you will ever need will be found within yourself. Sometimes we need other people to help us find those answers, and that is good. It's good to see the light of the Great Spirit reflected in the love and wisdom of others. But you must always measure what you find out in the world with what you find inside yourself. You must first ask yourself, "Am I being faithful to my own truth?"

Your being is like a spirit lodge. Within this spirit lodge dwell the sacredness of your being, your realization and the divine light of your creation. Sometimes your sacredness matches what everyone around you is saying, and sometimes it doesn't. You find peace and joy in life when you live in your own spirit lodge, the place within you where you are one with the Great Spirit and all of life, the place of your own sacred truth, regardless of the chaos that might be going on around you. This is what I mean by 'living spirit,' it is living in your own spirit lodge.

Have you ever wondered why some people can be so serene in the midst of what everyone else sees as impending doom? It is because they are living in their own spirit lodges; they know they are one with the Great Spirit and all of life, and no matter what happens nothing can ever separate them from that Oneness. They have taken care of what is around them to the best of their ability and placed their faith in the Great Spirit.

In the words of Shakespeare, "This above all: To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, Thou cannot then be false to any man." Outside your lodge is a great wilderness that can often become a battleground stained with ignorance and earthly pain. Many people live without a sacred place within, and those who do not have a sacred place within do not know how to enter the spirit lodges of others. To me, that is the definition of true loneliness, not being able to enter the spirit lodge of another person.

When you live your own truth, you find that it is much easier to allow others the honor of living their own truth, as well. Even where you disagree, it is not important. What becomes important is honoring the divine light within you both. This is the true meaning of freedom, when you are not shackled to an existence that is based on beliefs that are false to you. When you are living spirit, you are living your own sacred truth. Then you are as magnificent horse, wild and free through your oneness with the divine light of the universe, unfettered by beliefs that bring you only discomfort and disharmony with your own existence.

Read this feature from past issues.

Conquer Emotional Eating with Smart Thinking to Lose Weight and Feel Good About You

To conquer emotional eating it's first important to manage one's thinking and self communication. Otherwise, one's efforts will be in vain.

We could begin with managing emotions and invest years of training in how to embrace emotions and experience them to leave overeating out of the picture. However, if one is an expert at managing emotions, little progress might be made in losing weight if one still has a "fat thinking frame of mind."

For instance, if one recognizes the emotion of boredom and the desire to snack because of the boredom that in itself is progress. Yet, to leave food out of the picture, there's a mental command issued. And the nature of that command determines whether the managing of the boredom is successful or unsuccessful. The command is in the form of self communication such as, "I don't want to eat (something).

Unfortunately, this particular command is actually a suggestion to focus on food for two different reasons:

First, the brain skips "nots." It's like commanding a printer to NOT print—it's going to print.
Second, it's like telling the child within you that it can't have something. It creates a parent child war and when food is involved, the child wins.

Any command such as, "I don't want to think about food," or "I don't crave sweets anymore," only cause one to focus on food either at that moment or hours or days later. "Gee I haven't been thinking much about desert for weeks and all of a sudden, that's all I can think about." The thought becomes a boomerang.

Of course there are lots of other command or self communication statements that contribute to failure such as:
"I want to lose weight or quit eating so much." The words "lose" and "quit" are a problem. As youngsters we're taught that losing and quitting are not admirable traits. Or if you lose something you want to find it. So someone says, "Looks like you lost some weight." And what do you have to do—go find it, right?

Or the idea of "giving up" or "doing without" likewise is a problem because once again "giving up" is not admirable and "doing without," is like being made to go to bed without dinner.

"I'll eat today and diet tomorrow." The word "diet" is "die" with a "t" on the end and for most people means "doing without" and "giving up." Plus if you think of "dieting tomorrow," what do you do today? Eat everything in sight, right?

"I'm so hungry I could eat a horse." A horse is a pretty big item. Plus for many reasons the word "hungry" is misused.

"I can't stand myself any more." This one destroys self esteem and actually contributes to eating more—like self punishment.

The idea of forgetting about food along with some other specific can be far more effective at enforcing one's ability to stop eating emotional stress and leave food out of the picture than any of the above.

A progressive approach to conquer emotional eating habit involves asking important questions "What is missing here? Why are you not getting the results you've been promised from the books you've been reading and the professionals who have advised you?" It is clearly insane to keep dieting and thinking the same non productive thoughts when the results are so poor. It's more important to gain a grasp on how to stop emotional eating—eating emotional stress than it is to read the scale. Besides focusing on the scale doesn't empower you to be a better more enlightened person, whereas learning how to overcome emotional eating with effective self communication empowers you in all aspects of your life. If you're a beautician, you'll be a better beautician. If you're a check out person, you'll be a better check out person; a father, a better father... Overall, you'll build self worth and find that what you really want to eat is far more nutritious and less in quantity than you ever before imagined.

Visit Richard Kuhns B.S.Ch.E., NGH certified, this new year. He is a prominent figure in the field of hypnosis with his best selling hypnosis and stress management cds at http://www.DStressDoc.com and http://www.PanicBusters.com. His aim is to make it possible for anyone to manage emotional binge eating. For more information please visit www.dstressdoc.com/BingeEatingEbook.htm

Read this feature from past issues.

THIS MONTH:

Poetry Corner

I Remember
a July afternoon a hillside sky blue close earth baked fresh golden served up smelling green and ochre cool beneath berry brown bodies on grass arms spread wide stretched til only fingertips touch as we call out scenes imagined in clouds that float aimlessly above

Georgia Jones from her new book
Memorable Seasons

Read this feature from past issues.

The following is an excerpt from the new book From Deep Within, due to be released in August. It is an important story for every teen and everyone with a teen in their life, and the book not only warns but offers help. We are grateful to Danielle Joy Linhart for writing her story so other young girls may avoid such abuse.

From Deep Within is based on a true story. It is my story. In writing this book, I have found myself wondering why I couldn�t see what was right in front of me. It was sad to know that I couldn�t see the light for a long time.

I tried everything in my power to stop the abuse and that meant changing everything about myself.

For four years it felt as though I was in a bubble away from life and from everyone I loved. It is terrible to look back and to think that at that time I thought nothing was wrong.

When the jealousy started I thought my boyfriend loved me and was trying to protect me. When the abuse started I always thought it was my fault and that I caused him to be mad all of the time.

In my heart I believed that I wasn�t good enough for anyone else and that I couldn�t get anyone else who would put up with me. So, I accepted the relationship and all of the consequences that it brought. I even protected him and stuck with him because I thought that I was the cause of everything. Feeling at fault became a normal feeling for me and I blamed everything that went wrong in the relationship on myself. No matter how bad I could have been, there is absolutely no excuse for mental and physical abuse. The fear that my boyfriend created stopped me from getting help and stopped me from confiding in others.

Thanks to my parents� never giving up on me, I was able to get out of that relationship. There aren�t a lot of young women who have that support, and I am so grateful for always having my family by my side no matter what. I hurt them so much through the whole relationship because I thought my parents and others close to me were the enemy. I am in such a wonderful place right now, and I am so thankful for all the support I have received.

As a survivor I want to help those being harmed or who might be harmed, and to educate those who can help prevent a violent relationship. This book has been a path to self-discovery, to close the chapter on that part of my life. I feel as though I have re-lived the abuse all over again. At times I had to stop writing, but I am glad I continued because there is a chance I will help someone in need.

A portion of the proceeds from this book will be donated to LoveIsRespect.org

If you know of a woman who will no longer grace our future because of domestic violence, please send us her story, or your own.

Get information on Domestic violence and violence against women at LadybugBooks.com
We invite any of you to contribute on this subject. We feel it is important to continue the discussion of domestic violence.
Read this feature from past issues.

We are looking for your stories remembering women's history. Send in your story and we will publish it.

Exceptional Women are Our History and Our Future:

Jane Roberts ~ Making History

We have carried Jane's articles in here for some time and LadybugPress published her book, 34 Million Friends of the Women of the World, but it is hard to get Jane to talk about Jane. Since we know what an extraordinary woman she is, we thought it was time to acknowledge that, and what better way than to print what she has said about what matters to her.

When the World Takes Care of Women, Women Take Care of the World

On Common Ground must expand the discussion to the entire planet. What we do here in this country has an effect on the entire world�s view of women, on their status, on their role in human affairs.

Here are some facts which everyone should know. There are approximately 200 million pregnancies in the world every year. Of these, twenty percent end in abortion i.e. 40 million. Of these 40 million, half (20 million) are unsafe and illegal. These 20 million unsafe illegal abortions result in 68,000 deaths of women and girls, and 5 million injuries, infections and hemorrhages most requiring hospitalization if indeed a hospital is within reach.

Any honest person would have to say that laws against abortion are not effective, that throughout human history abortion has been and no doubt will always be a �method of family planning� which women use in great numbers. What do we all say about this?

Everyone should know that about 9 million children under 5 years of age die every year and of those 9 million, 40 percent die in their first month, many in their first hour. The underlying cause for these deaths is the ill health of the mother. The babies were born weighing two pounds. The mother�s diet was inadequate. The pregnancy was close on to the preceding pregnancy and birth. Very probably the woman had no access to family planning. Imagine the pain.

When the world takes care of women, women take care of the world. The world is doing a terrible job. Millennium Development Goal 5 �Improve Maternal Health� is the least likely to be achieved because in many poor countries, maternal health is a low priority. Maternal health budgets are shortchanged and there is a huge dearth of healthcare workers.

Five hundred thousand women are still dying in childbirth every year and the promise of universal access to reproductive health and family planning made at the International Conference on Population and Development in Cairo, Egypt in 1994 has been more honored in the breach than in the implementation.Please take a look at Millennium Goal 5? Could we all find Common Ground in Millennium Development Goal 5?

A good case can be made that gender inequality is the moral scourge of the age. Hillary Clinton during her confirmation hearings to become Secretary of State said: �Of particular concern to me is the plight of women and girls who comprise the majority of the world�s unhealthy, schooled, unfed, unpaid.� Can we all work on this?

When you look around the world, the countries which are the most prosperous, stable, and democratic are those where women have the highest status. With high status usually comes decision making autonomy in the area of fertility. What do we think about that?

When you look around the world, you see that the countries where there is fairly definite separation between church and state are the most stable and where gender equality is the most pronounced. This is no accident. This is cause and effect. Can we discuss this?

More than 60 million (it may be 100 million) women and girls are �missing� in Asia and Africa due to sex selective abortion, female infanticide, and neglect of the girl child. Can we all get our heads around that? (There has been a recent report that there appears to be more than the natural percentage of boys born among Asian families in the U.S.) Any Common Ground here?

Last Thursday, in the Washington Post, Secretary Clinton wrote a column �Fighting Modern Slavery� lamenting worldwide sex trafficking. The root causes of sex trafficking are poverty, illiteracy, and powerlessness. Gender inequality is the basis for all three. I quote Stephen Lewis of the Stephen Lewis Foundation and former U.N. ambassador to Africa for AIDS: �I challenge you to enter the fray against gender inequality. There is no more honorable or productive calling. There is nothing of greater import in this world. All roads lead from women to social change.� Can we all find Common Ground here?

I think we are all "Pro-Life" but in different ways. I have spent the last 7 years urging my fellow Americans to support the United Nations Population Fund through 34 Million Friends. UNFPA is a worldwide champion of women�s and girls� education, health (particularly reproductive health including family planning) and human rights. To me Pro-Life and UNFPA are synonymous.

I repeat. When the world takes care of women, women take care of the world. What does taking care of women mean? It means that people rejoice equally at the birth of a girl or a boy. Every single human being ever born has come from the womb of a woman. Women risk their very lives to ensure the propagation of the species. If women lack health and education and choices in their lives, humanity suffers. If women disappear, humanity disappears. It is really that simple. So take care of women! Can we find Common Ground here? Yes we can!

Thanks to RHRealityCheck.org for allowing us to reprint this article by Jane Roberts.

Read this feature from past issues.

A little bit in writing about what's happening at
LadybugLive.com, MooseMeals.com, and TeenTalkNetwork.com

Serious and Entertaining
We have it all
This Month:
Mary Lou Sanelli has a NEW BOOK!

A Special with Harriet Tramer from her upcoming book on caring for parents, Rounding the Circle of Love
Rae Graduates!
Communicating with Denè Ballentine

Rae Quigley wants to be on "Ellen"!
Contact Ellen

Have you been to our new audio site? Maybe you are asking: What's so new about OverTheGardenFence.com? Well, it is there to find our what YOU have to say, to encourage your participation. You can have your say and be heard right along with our hosts and their guests, simply by calling in on our toll-free comment line.

It is always exciting to announce a new poetry program at LadybugLive.com, but Blake More would be exciting to announce in any context:

    Blake More



A 1987 graduate of UCLA and a lifetime member of the Phi Beta Kappa Honor Society, Blake More is an artist with many creative voices and expressions, poetry being her first obsession, though her work spans the spectrum: from book, magazine, poetry and playwriting to performance art, dance and yogic trapeze; from teaching poetry, video and drama to theatrical costume design, functional mixed media art/life pieces, assemblage sculpture and wildly painted poetry art cars (including Eartha Karr, a 1978 Mercedes that runs on Bio Diesel (www.snakelyone.com/EARTHA/done.htm).

Blake is the author of three full length books; New Age Anonymous: 12 Steps for the Recovering New Ager, The Photon Energy Diet, and How To Heal Your Headache Naturally) and five books of poetry: Lingua Franca, Late-Eve(all) Woman In Paradise, I Scribble, Therefore I Am, postcards from the sun, and godmeat. Blake's work has also appeared in magazines and journals worldwide , including Utne Reader, Yoga Journal, Alternative Medicine Digest, Japan International Journal, Nippon View, Tokyo Today, and Tokyo Time Out. Similarly, her poetry has been wildly published and anthologized.

Her original solo performance pieces and ensemble plays have appeared on streets and stages in New York, Tokyo, San Francisco, Berkeley, Oakland, Los Angeles, Marin, Sonoma, and the Mendocino coast. She has collaborated with a diverse range of creative organizations, including the Oakland East Bay Symphony, the San Francisco Mime Troupe, the Bay Area Video Coalition, Awate Productions, The Marsh Theater, The Arena Theater, Gualala Arts, California Poets In The schools, Laughing Squid, KZYX Radio, KTDE Radio, KPOO Radio, SF Liberation Radio, Point Arena Pirate Radio, and Radio Amsterdam.

She coordinates the monthly poetry series in Point Arena, as well as the Poetry & Jazz event for the Redwood Whale & Jazz festival. As a teacher, Blake works part-time as a poet teacher and Mendocino County Area Coordinator for California Poets in the Schools; in addition, she receives private and public grant funding to guide high school students in the creation and production of original plays, videos, artwork, and poetry anthologies. She also designs costumes for the San Francisco Mime Troupe Youth Theater Project, and is the creative director of The Arena Technology Center, the city of Point Arena's arts and technology center. She has sat on several non-profit arts and education boards, including the CITYARTS Gallery Board (www.cityarts.ws) and California Poets In the Schools Executive Board (www.cpits.org). She is a member of the Oddfellows Fraternal Society.

Currently, Blake lives in the tree, ocean, and character-lined pastures of the not-so lost Mendocino coast. Her newest book godmeat (Beatitude Press, January 2008), is a collection of poetry, prose and color artwork and includes a poem movie compilation DVD. To learn more about godmeat, go to www.godmeat.com. To explore Blake's many other creative endeavors, please go to her website, www.snakelyone.com.

Marin poet Martin Hickel

Know someone who might want to be a host at TeenTalkNetwork.com? We have two teens on now and both are growing up fast. The only requirement is that they want to do it enough to stick to a schedule. They all find their voice as they go along. Desiree Nelson is older of our teens—she's in her first year of college this year and she and mom, Linda Nelson, are now cross-programmed to our site at LadybugLive—got a scholarship from Discover in large part because of her program. The other, Rae Quigley is a senior this year and has done several shows on how important it is for colleges that you do something outside the usual. So there are lots of benefits for the teen who can do this, not the least of which is the experience itself. It's a great gig for any teen!

If you are a writer and would like to become a NewVoices author or artist, contact:
Georgia@ladybugbooks.com
Please use the subject title: NewVoices Information

     It's Not Your Same Old Radio!

"There are people who have something to say and those who have something to sell. We are interested in the ones with something special to teach the world."

For LadybugLive, TeenTalkNetwork, and MooseMeals to continue growing, we need correspondents and readers. The process is quite simple: submissions are by email. If accepted, a reader calls, either our local or our toll free number as directed in the acceptance email, to record. What will you be recording?
We are looking for: readings of original creative work, comment and commentary, and ideas for regularly appearing programming that can be done within this format. We are not able, as yet, to do direct call in shows, but shows that require listener (delayed) response are OK. All of this, of course, within the same guidelines as everything we do: Of interest to women (no particular restrictions). This format might also be ideal for some of those traditional topics, such as clothing and makeup, with a fresh "twist."

Send ideas and proposals to Georgia@ladybugbooks.com
We strive to bring you the best in women's writing.
And...
Keep up to date on what is happening at NewVoices and LadybugFlights by signing up for our monthly announcements!

We know online radio is new to many of you but we also know how rewarding it can be. So, if you need help to get started, don't hesitate to contact Georgia for help... And, hey! Our hosts love hearing from you!
Our teen site, TeenTalkNetwork.com programming is safe — no porn or other unwanted promotions are attached to our files.

The Internet promised and we are delivering.

New programming is always available at:
TeenTalkNetwork.com
MooseMeals.com
LadybugLive

Read this feature from past issues.

Happy Birthday!

Georgia

This months article recognizes the life and contributions of Georgia Jones. She makes all of this and so much more possible. Perhaps her most important contributions have been in helping young women find skills and possibilities for their lives that they otherwise would not have experienced. Her impact on others lives has reached around the world.

Please join me in wishing Georgia a Happy Birthday (July 6th) and in recognizing the value of the many types of communication she has made available and the fascinating people she has introduced to us.

A life worthwhile

Georgia Jones has been an active journalist and was regularly published in local Washington DC publications, such as the DC Gazette, and in feminist publications such as oob- A Woman's News Journal between 1968 and 1980. The scope of this work included short stories, feature articles, science, self help, and articles and reviews of the arts. She interviewed well known political and feminist figures of the day, including Gloria Steinem, Bella Abzug, and Betty Friedan. Her article documenting the first person experiences of women using the Dalcon Shield and Copper 7 IUD's was one of the earliest on this important subject, and was adapted for broadcast by WAER Radio in Syracuse, New York. From 1994-1997 Jones authored a weekly Internet column for Women's Wire® (later Women's Wire® on CompuServe®).

In 1992 two of her plays, "A Stitch in Time" and "The Usual Suspects," were produced for radio through Shoestring Radio Theatre, distributed nationally to NPR affiliates through Radio Works and Audio Services for the Blind. Prior to that production, "A Stitch in Time" and a musical, "The Porters," which she wrote with composer, Lewis MacAllister were produced by local amateur stage companies.

In 1995 Jones' novel In Line at the Lost and Found placed in the National Association of Writers novel awards. That same book was commented on by Push Cart Prize nominee Eva Shaderowfsky: "I love the way you keep this whole thing on the edge of madness. Well done! . .I smile as I read on breathlessly. . .It's black humor at its best!" Georgia Jones is author of A Garden of Weedin', a collection of original poetry, art and essays, and is editor and contributor to Women on a Wire, vol.1 & 2. Her poetry has been compared to that of Alanis Morrisette, Hilda Doolittle , and Canto.

Her published work includes the novel In Line at the Lost and Found and the non-fiction book The Real Dirt on the American Dream: Home Ownership and Democracy under the pseudonym Adrianna Long. She has authored a book on writing, Write What You Know, based on writing workshops she has developed and led since 1995. Write What You Know was described by one reviewer as "a book that can be used and enjoyed by the new writer looking for guidance, or is a book for the seasoned pro in search of a fresh outlook." Her interview with Beat Poet and artist, Elizabeth Case, was a featured story for the Winter 1998-99 issue of Crone Chronicles magazine.

In addition to being founder/publisher of LadybugPress in 1996, Georgia has led writing workshops in such diverse area and contexts as a peace conference in Israel and a retreat in the Sierra Nevada mountains in California.

Contributions toward peace

Georgia represents the U.S. at IFLAC a peace conference, in Hafia Israel, of international peace researchers, writers, poets, politicians, diplomats, educators, journalists and media people, peace activists, women activists, and students, working together to foster joint cooperation and understanding in the Middle East and in our global village.

Georgia led programs in Poetry, Story Telling, Singing, Artistic Presentations at the VIFLAC conference whose main goal of is the creative "Repairing of the World" considering the Ghandi model for paving peace.

Developing the arts

Georgia, vice-president, of Central Sierra Arts Council (CSAC) makes significant contributions to develop the arts in her community and Poetry in the Schools to encourage the development of our children.

Georgia's personal contributions to the arts includes sculpture, art shows, cartoon strips, and more.

Field Trips (learn more about Georgia)

Meet Georgia Jones

A writers adventure with Georgia Jones

Georgia Jones Writer

Georgia Jones Author

An experts point of view

A pioneer in internet radio

Petition on banning suicide bomings

Happy Trails,

B.S.

Read this feature from past issues.

Books, Cooks, Looks & Ms. Elani

Dear Friends and Readers,
Growing up can do strange things to people.
Bridge of Sighs
by Richard Russo
ISBN 978-0-375-41495-4

Growing up can do strange things to people. In Richard Russo's new book Bridge of Sighs, several friends, including Louis Charles Lynch, known forever as Lucy, his wife Sarah and their good friend Bobby go from childhood to adults in the small town of Thomaston, New York. As Lucyand his wife are about to embark on a trip to Italy to see their friend Bobby, he decides to write a memoir of his growing up in this town; his life as a poor child when his father was a milkman, advancement to middle class as his father buys a grocery store, though his mother warned against it, and finally, Lucy himself as the owner of three stores, two run by his own son and daughter-in-law.

Russo starts small, introducing the reader to only a few characters at a time, showing their positive attributes and then slowly, like peeling a perfect apple only to find a warm in the middle, he produces the character flaws of each.

Sarah, the perfect wife, was once attracted to Bobby, Lucy himself admits to the many reasons he had to write the book and his friend, Bobby, a native son himself, not only had to change his name but needed to move to Venice. The various qualities of their three parents are also seen, often creating a barrier between the friends.

The story is told through back flashes, the actual memoir and the current time frame. Through Lucy's eyes the reader clearly sees the town of Thomaston, the nearby communities, and the people who make a town a place to remember. No one will be able to forget the likes of Gabriel, or Sarah's or Lucy's parents, let alone the various people who lived in the apartments. Long after the cover is closed the thought of a deed accomplished or a missed opportunity will provoke a thought of 'what if a different choice had been made'? Well worth reading.

Read this feature from past issues.

YOUR HOUSE IS ON FIRE

Constructive Comments Only
a letter from NARAL

Our "Trust Women" wristband campaign is well underway, but we still need more representation from Lucas, Yukon.

Please help us show anti-choice politicians that pro-choice Americans from across the country "Trust Women" to make their own reproductive-health choices.

Donate today and get your "Trust Women" wristbands. Help NARAL Pro-Choice America in its work to spread pro-choice values across the nation.

In honor of Dr. George Tiller, who often wore a button that simply read, "Trust Women," NARAL Pro-Choice America is asking you to pay tribute to his legacy and demonstrate that we won't let those who use violent rhetoric and hateful language win.

I was stunned when I saw Ann Coulter tell Bill O'Reilly that, "I don't really like to think of it as a murder. It was terminating Tiller in the 203rd trimester." ¹

Just one day after Dr. Tiller's murder, Randall Terry, founder of Operation Rescue, said Dr. Tiller "reaped what he sowed." ² And then there is Jill Stanek, a notorious anti-choice blogger who told Newsweek.com after last year's election, "We're going to go more guerilla warfare." ³

This is the kind of inflammatory rhetoric we ask you to stand up against today.

With your donation today, we will send you "Trust Women" wristbands for you to wear and proudly share with your friends and family. You and your friends may register your wristbands online to join pro-choice Americans in towns and cities across the country in demonstrating your commitment to a woman's right to choose.

Many have already joined the campaign, which is why we need you to stand with us and be counted among America's pro-choice majority by helping us fill in the map from coast to coast.

Join your fellow pro-choice Americans by wearing your "Trust Women" wristband today.

Sincerely,
Nancy Keenan
President, NARAL Pro-Choice America

1. "Left-Wing Cause Celebre," FoxNews.com, June 22, 2009
2. "Terry Declares That Tiller 'Reaped What He Sowed,' Then Ask If Someone Will Buy Him Lunch," RightWingWatch.com, June 1, 2009
3. "Pro-Lifers in Obamaland," Newsweek.com, January 27, 2009

Read this feature from past issues.

From the EDITOR

Guess what I heard...

I remember my 11^th grade speech teacher telling the class that "Gossip is the lowest form of communication. Talking about people is coarse, about things is necessary, but talking about ideas is the only worthwhile pursuit." I agreed then, and still do in the abstract, but I think that gossip (talking about people) needs another look.

We like to talk about people; we interest us. Is that a character flaw? If so, it is one we all share. We talk about our concerns for other people, and though that might be contrived to have a higher value, it is gossip, too. We speculate and judge. I think all of that has its place and that it is a healthy place, a part of what makes us who we are as a species.

What are we really doing when we speculate on someone else's life; when we attribute a specific motive based on only the smallest hint from their behavior or history? What we are doing is empathizing. Empathy is something humans may own exclusive rights to, certainly we have honed the skill or characteristic to a high level of importance. The ability to empathize is considered a humanizing virtue, while gossip is considered a fault. Is it possible that our contempt for gossip is based on perceptions of class rather than value?

All of the characteristics of an average human being have been classified throughout our history as mean or coarse and civilized or genteel. When two Victoria gentlemen dueled over a "point of honor" (usually a woman) if was "character building", while lower class boys fighting over a girl were labeled "hooligans". Might gossip be the same kind of class division applied to words?

We speculate about our friends and neighbors; some of it constructively: in order to understand and help; some of it less constructively: to judge and, thus, to feel superior. We are a communal species and this talent for understanding is probably essential to our ability to function in groups. Understanding is important to us. We do not like our questions to be left unanswered, but in empathy we find the deepest connection to each other.

At the same time we embrace our connectedness, we see ourselves as separate from the group and the need to feel superior is a part of individuality. Humans are never one thing or another, we are always a complex mix of parts. So gossip has its place in making us who we are. But is gossip a worthy pursuit for a whole society?

It is interesting how when we endow our group identity, our culture, with the traits we need or can tolerate in individuals, it is destructive to that whole. I worry about a culture built on gossip and celebrity. It is easy enough to adjust our systems, communication and economics, to reflect these valued forms of behavior, but what do we lose when our lowest form of discussion—course or genteel doesn't come into it—when talk about people replaces talk about ideas?

I love a good "who-done-it" just as I can feel empowered by speculation on why my teenager felt compelled to be so self-destructive, or why my neighbor came home so late last night, or why my favorite celebrity might have chosen a certain role or wife or whatever, but when my information, the intense interest of my culture and my world, has shifted away from ideas to speculation I worry about the ideas that are not being developed, the future we are not building, and the rot that begins to grow where once I had a brain.

Once again...
In the spirit of communication this is information you should know:

What's New? Independent Publishing
A discussion with Annie Jennings

Publicity Matters
Annie Jennings and Stacy Amaral
from www.anniejenningspr.com

Find out about the new LadybugPress publicity and marketing programs at
TheBookCollective.com!

Georgia Jones, Editor

Read this feature from past issues.

At LadybugFlights we have always encouraged the participation of our readers. For that reason we have this space, a place where you can be heard. Nothing as formal as an article or a column... Just some venting, self-expression, or a chance to communicate what you are thinking on almost any topic. Send it to us and we will let you know if we can use it!

Thanks so much, Georgia, for reprinting our Dollar a Week announcement! You are a good friend indeed.

And congratulations on another fabulous issue. I especially like the main feature, Sufi Tears. What an extraordinary story!

I may send a piece for Fiona's section one day. I was a day care mom for 15 years, so she rings some chimes for me.

Peace and all good,

Mary Liston Liepold, Ph.D.
Communications Manager
Peace X Peace
703.350.4311
www.peacexpeace.org

Read this feature from past issues.

©July 2009 LadybugBooks.com

Please write to us. We want to hear what you think:
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