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Beatrice wanted out of her box this month and we thought this topic was a perfect send off for a new year.

Consumer Confidence

Economists vs. the index - who to trust

What is the Consumer Confidence Index?

Issued monthly the US Consumer Confidence Index (CCI) is a measure of consumption and measures the degree of optimism on the state of the economy that consumers are expressing through their activities of savings and spending. The index is based on data from 5,000 households. The Federal Reserve looks at the CCI when determining interest rate changes. The CCI also affects stock market prices.

The index started in 1985 at 100 and is normalized based on the Consumer Confidence level when it began. The Conference Board declares a recession whenever there are two or more consecutive quarters with confidence levels below 100. In that year the result of the index was arbitrarily set to 100, representing the index’s benchmark.

This CCI is adjusted monthly on the basis of a household survey of consumers’ opinions on current conditions and future expectations of the economy. Opinions on current conditions make up 40% of the index, with expectations of future conditions comprising the remaining 60%.

As you can see the CCI indicated a recession between September 2002 and November 2003. The data was obtained from: http://www.pollingreport.com/consumer.htm

How Accurate is the Index?

2002, Economists say a plunge in confidence doesn't mean a recession's coming. History seems to say otherwise. Consumers are in a crisis of confidence, one of the worst in the past 35 years, and every other drop in confidence this bad has resulted in a recession. However, Economists think this time will be different, but there's plenty of reason for concern. Well, as we now know the economists were not right and the CCI did accurately reflect a recessional period.

Consumer Confidence Today

Consumer confidence hardly moved from a two-year low as housing troubles, a credit crunch, high energy prices and an unsteady Wall Street continue to make people uneasy about the economy and their own financial situations. Confidence is at 87.3 in early December, which marked the worst rating since the devastation caused by the Gulf Coast hurricanes in 2005. Consumers who think conditions are "good" fell to 22.3 percent from 23.2 percent. Meanwhile, those saying conditions are "bad" increased to 19.1 percent from 16.6 percent. Consumers are afraid and fear the worst.

Economists point out that there are a number of factors to blame for the gloomy mind-set of consumers. The collapse of the housing market, which has dragged down home values, has made people feel less wealthy. Home foreclosures have shot up to record highs. Harder-to-get credit has made it difficult for some to make big-ticket purchases. High energy prices are squeezing wallets and pocketbooks. And, Wall Street's ups and downs have made investors worry about the value of their nest eggs.

Over the past year, consumers' confidence has deteriorated sharply, reflecting the magnitude of the problems with the economy. Last December the Conference Board said its consumer confidence index rose to 109 from a revised 105.3 in November and 105.1 in October of 2006. In 2007 the index declining since the summer, posted a slight increase in December and now stands at 88.6 a loss in confidence of nearly 22%.

One thing the Federal Reserve is watching closely is how consumers, a major force in shaping overall economic activity, behave in terms of their spending and investing. The big worry among economists is that they will cut back sharply, throwing the economy into a recession. The odds of this happening have grown, analysts said. Still, economists, Fed officials and the Bush administration are hopeful such a situation can be avoided.

To stave off a possible recession, the Fed has sliced a key interest rate twice this year. A third rate reduction is expected when policymakers meet next week.

A gauge of peoples' attitudes about investing, including their comfort in making major purchases, fell to 79.7 in December. That was down from 83.4 in November and was the lowest reading in just over two years.

Who is right more often, Economists or the CCI?

In my opinion the great uncertainty in the 2008 presidential election has nothing to do with driver's licenses for illegal immigrants, Hillary's icy personality, Romney's flip-flops or Rudy's personal life. It has to do with the economy: Will it slow down and will it hit recession levels?

The main finding is that the indexes of consumer confidence are not of significant value in forecasting consumer spending. In fact, in some cases, they make the forecasts significantly worse, suggesting that consumer-confidence surveys are no better than government data agencies in capturing information about consumer spending.

It's for times like this that God created economists.

The trouble with economists is you just don't know whom or what to believe. Pessimistic economists have predicted 10 of the last three recessions. Optimistic economists have a success rate that is worse yet. Good times are always just down the road. When they see a light at the other end of the economic tunnel, they just can never bring themselves to believe there might be an oncoming freight train behind it.
The Economist, London's news weekly, made the point in its recent edition. It observed that in the days following the 1929 stock market crash, the Harvard Economic Society offered this view of things: "A severe depression," it informed investors, "is outside the range of probability."
The Ivy League's best and brightest weren't alone. Much of the financial press of that day painted a similarly rosy picture. How'd they all miss it so badly? The best guess here is that, like generals, they tend to re-fight the last war. Or, worse yet, like political reporters they tend to listen to one another. Either way you don't learn much you didn't know already.

Remember, economics is not a hard science, certainly not in any conventional understanding of that term. It's not even an art, though some practitioners see it as such. It's more in the nature of an occult practice.

The economist rummages through stacks of statistics, submits them to certain measures of past economic performance, throws in a dash of gut instinct and produces a prediction. How often are they right? A bit less often than weathermen is as good a guess as any.

With this information as our guideline, let's proceed to what seems a growing consensus: Most economists appear to believe that the US economy is headed for a slowdown in 2008, maybe even a recession.

The indicators are forbidding. Oil prices are at their highest, an indicator of a rough winter for travelers and homeowners. The dollar is an 85-cent weakling compared with the euro and Canada's currency. Big U.S. exporters love the weaker dollar because it boosts exports, but for the average citizen it means inflation and higher prices at discount stores. Housing prices, a source of much of the growth in consumer wealth and spending, are collapsing with no end in site. Construction is down, and cancellations of planned house purchases are up. Everybody, it seems, is carrying a burden of debt not seen before.

The banks and mortgage brokerages, whose let-the-good-times-roll approach to lending fueled the housing market collapse, have suddenly acquired religion: no more easy credit for an economy built on easy credit, except, it seems, for credit card users. Once you get'em hooked, you can't let'em kick the habit, as any drug dealer can tell you.

So who will save this economy, keep it out of the toilet? The economists say only you, the average consumer, can help this economy stay out of a recession. And they've got the figures to prove it. In the two-decade-plus economic expansion we've enjoyed, there have been lots of contributors, business investment and government spending, for example. But it's consumer spending, roughly two-thirds of the national economy, that's been the economy's fuel.

Not once since 1980 has the annual level of consumer spending dipped. But it could next year, according to the economists. Consumer confidence has dropped. The monthly rate of job creation has slowed. And spending on imports, one measure of consumer confidence, has begun to decline in response to the weak dollar.

If all these ill omens translate into a consumer retreat, the economists will tell you, we're in for a recession. Then again, what do they know?

What to do?

Flip a coin, trust in the result, and keep your money under your bed. By the way you will hear more investment geek's telling you to put your money in metals. Looking over the long haul, precious metals have under performed stocks.

Field Trips

Confidence Board Website

What the economists thought in 2002

Happy Holidays,

B.S.

Read this feature from past issues.

A NEW YEAR, A NEW YOU: A New World?

Before launching into a wish list for 2008, I would just like to take a moment to reflect on some of the things that affected me in 2007, and which may have also touched your lives, in one way or another, the good and the bad:
Over 1,000 more men and women lost their lives in a senseless war that should never have been waged. We must all remember their sacrifice or they will have died in vain. We should also remember how this infernal government is doing precious little to take care of those who have been wounded and disabled. Any of you recall those pictures and stories coming out of Walter Reed Army Medical Center? Enough said.
We saw oil prices going through the roof; fuelled by greed and our insatiable need to drive gas-guzzling vehicles that should never have been allowed off the drawing board, never mind the assembly line. Thanks guys, now we are all forced into paying over $3.00 a gallon, and, we are told, it's only going to get worse from here on in. Just what those of us who are struggling to survive need to hear.
Then there has been the housing bust: Foreclosures at an all-time high and people losing their shirts thanks to predatory lending practices; yet more signs of the rampant greed that has overtaken us. If it's any consolation to the poor souls who have lost everything there is such a thing as Universal Justice, and what goes around really does come around....eventually.
Global warming finally became a topic that people could talk about around the cooler as well as in polite company, and the US eventually caved in to pressure at the Bali climate summit and agreed to actually do something proactive to help stem the tide of the planet-destroying pollution enveloping our world.
Continental and Virgin airlines began offering us the opportunity to purchase 'carbon offsets' whenever we fly. God bless their cotton socks for giving us a way to assuage our fossil fuelled guilt!
"Organic" ceased to be a dirty word and came out of the closet in even the most pedestrian of supermarkets: The power of the shopper, in all her glory, winning one for our offspring.
And, in the midst of all this, one man's voice was finally heard by the masses, instead of just the enlightened few, and he won the Nobel Peace Prize for his efforts, not to mention 2 Emmys and an Oscar. His decades-long quest to make us aware of the damage we are causing to our environment, and consequently ourselves, at last successful. I really pray that Al Gore will run for president this year.
Thanks to the efforts of such entities as The Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine, and borne of a program started by President Clinton in 2000, hundreds of school districts' lunches started, in earnest, to consist of healthier alternatives, while toxic sodas were removed from many school vending machines to be replaced with, can-you-believe-it, real fruit juices and WATER!
On a personal level, as many of you who read this column on a regular basis already know, my mother had another run-in with cancer, which sent me flying off to be with her for several months whilst she underwent surgery and then radiation therapy. She was a trooper throughout and is now, thankfully, doing well...all things considered; apart from being plagued with terrible dry mouth (xerostomia), which has led to severe weight loss and several run-ins (pardon the pun) with gastroenteritis. She is, however, refusing to let it get the better of her. That's my gal!
What many of you will not know is that just before we learned that Ma's cancer had returned, I had embarked upon a course to become a certified wellness coach. Having to go to Portugal, where internet access is not always possible, it was touch and go whether I would have to quit the program. But, as it turned out, thanks to the generosity of spirit of Well Coaches (the learning institute through which I took the course), I was able to transfer into a class that began later in the year and complete my course work, take and pass the exams, and receive my certification from the American College of Sports Medicine (ACSM).
All of this means that I am now officially an ACSM-certified Wellness Coach, and will be doing some shameless self-promotion before this column is done!
So we see 2007 close with mixed feelings; some good things did happen, but the many terrible ones sadly threaten to eclipse them in our memories. However, we must not look back, except to remember those we lost or left behind us as we continue on our journeys. And now we look forward to 2008 with the hope that it will be a better year, for all, and I hope too that you will share my sentiments when I say, may...

We see an end to the conflict in Iraq and Afghanistan, and the immediate return of our service men and women.
There be a radical change of guard in Congress, and that we will have the intelligence to elect legislators that will put America and Americans first, instead of their own, special interest-influenced agendas; regardless of party affiliation.
We have an overhaul of our healthcare system that will guarantee low-cost, first-class medical care to every adult and child that is otherwise un or underinsured - especially those who can least advocate for themselves.
We insist on the provision of affordable housing for everyone, so that no one need be homeless and without basic shelter, food, clothing, heat and comfort ever again. Every other developed country provides these for its people, why can't we?
We see an increased awareness of the responsibility we have to protect our environment, and that we use our power as voters to ensure that we elect only those who will adhere to a regimen of change - especially with regard to enacting much stricter controls of industrial emissions and other destructive pollution. And how about mandating that car manufacturers make hybrid cars cheap, for those of us who cannot actually afford $3 gas, instead of for those who can easily afford it?
We make all food healthy. And let's STOP giving whopping great subsidies to the mega-conglomerate food manufacturers and million dollar farms to produce additive-laden, genetically suspect and artificial additive-riddled comestibles. Let organic and natural foods be cheaper than the manufactured, and give subsidies to those that produce them.
Good, public education become the right of every child, not just those that live in expensive houses in exclusive enclaves.
Health, abundance, love and laughter touch your lives in 2008 and beyond.

With the New Year come the resolutions: To exercise more, eat less, or more healthily, quit smoking, eliminate that 3rd glass of wine at night, reduce stress, reduce clutter, sleep more, take a vacation, or spend less. Whatever it is that you plan on doing, chances are that you will either not get around to it, or will fail and give up any further efforts to succeed. This is where I come in.
As a wellness coach, I help you to become your very Best Self. Through a series of specific, targeted, attainable goals, we work together to change the behaviors that have held you back. Over a period of time, usually lasting 3 months, sometimes more, I become your champion and confidante until you are successful. We examine the various aspects of your everyday life which impact your health and wellbeing, and prioritize those areas that are of greatest concern; and their root causes. With me as your guide, you create a vision of who you would like to be in 3 months, then I work with you to overcome hurdles and pitfalls, and cheer you on until you get there. In fact, you need to do most of the work, but I am there to support you every step of the way.
The price of wellness coaching is competitive, and generally affordable for the majority of people. We conduct weekly, or bi-monthly, sessions over the phone, which keeps the costs down and enables me to work with people from all over the country. The first session usually lasts 90 minutes, during which time we get to know each other and begin to work on your wellness vision. Subsequent sessions last approximately 30 minutes, tailored to your schedule.
As a health and wellness educator, counselor, and consultant, for many years, I was fortunate to have necessary prerequisites to become a Wellness Coach. In fact, part of my graduate training had been in health behaviors, which helped me significantly with achieving certification, because the field of wellness coaching has its foundations in health and positive psychology.
If you think that you might be interested in working with me as your wellness coach, please email me (Georgia, can we please link to an email address for me here...thank you:-) with your contact information (name, email and phone number), and I will contact you. Alternatively, you can visit the Well Coaches website (link below), where you will find licensed wellness coaches (not those of us who are certified).
My new website should be up and running after the start of the New Year, and you will be able to get more information on me, and all the services I offer, meanwhile you can write to me:

I hope that I shall hear from you.

Wishing you and yours a fabulous 2008, until next time...
Links to some of the things mentioned here:
The Bali Climate Summit
Virgin Airways Carbon Offset Program
Continental Airlines Carbon Offset Program
The Nobel Peace Prize Winners 2007
'An Inconvenient Truth' site
Healthy School Lunches Program
Well Coaches Website

Visit MyHealthNavigator.com

Listen to Tina on "Being Well" at LadybugLive and...
Read this feature from past issues.

Taking Stock

The new year is a good time time to look both backwards and forwards, like the old roman god Janus. Looking backwards, 2007 has been a year when I have used the internet more than ever. Watching videos on YouTube, listening to internet radio at LadybugLive, researching, emailing, pictures, it has been a year for diverse and ever-expanding uses. I never cease to marvel at the baqndwidth available to me - I still remember the days when downloading a single text message took a long time.
The rewards are great - communication is easier than ever, the other side of the globe is as near as my screen, pictures, music, words are all available, to me and to everyone else. All these people add up, and the internet is now a major factor in the life of the globe. Just how much so is explored by the Progress and Freedom Foundation. It publishes the Digital Economy Fact Book, which presents the big picture in numbers and charts. For example, in early 2007, there were about 113.7 million active websites. For comparison, at the end of 1994 there were about 10,000. YouTube activity is growing about 1,972 percent per year.
Who is involved in all this activity? A poll from late in 2006 found that the average U.S. family owned 12 media gadgets two of which are PCs. Respondents spent 3.6 hours a day using the Internet, 1.2 hours using email, and one hour using instant messaging. That is almost 6 hours a day!
The whole report makes fascinating reading and gives a complex picture of the impact of computers and the internet on many facets of life and exonomic activity. Check out Chapter 6, on internet threats and how they have grown and changed.
Recognizing myself as a tiny cog in this giant wheel, I decided to look ahead with some resolutions for 2008:
1: Back up my computer early and often; at any moment some malware of some physical accident could demolish the valuable information I have gathered or created.
2: Keep my antivirus, antispyware and security software up to date; refrain from opening attachments on doubtful messages and practice safe computing.
3: Back up my computer early and often.
4: Make new connections across the globe and learn lots of new things with this fascinating tool. Use the time I spend wisely.
5: Back up my computer early and often!

If you notice a pattern there, it is because I have talked to too many people who have lost much work that they could easily have backed up. It will happen to me and to you too, sooner or later.
Back up your computer! Have a Happy New Year!

Read this feature from past issues.

  New Year's Reality

It has been a very blessed holiday for our household. Both kids really understood Christmas this year in many ways. Emily especially was happy with the holiday and her new discovery of gifts and songs and snow. We are digging out from Present Central and enjoying some time off from school and work. I have thought long and hard about my resolutions for the new year and still can't find my list from last year. This column might typically deal with the resolutions. By the time, I get actual resolutions thought about and written out, it will be July 4th. Instead, I am including my top ten ideas for new reality shows based on Christmas carols.

1-The Feast of Stephen: Good King Burger King prepares frozen, healthy, and kid-approved meals in plastic containers for moms while they wait in the return line.
2-The Silent Night: This one speaks for itself. Unfortunately, no moms would be watching because they would be asleep or checking to make sure their kids were still breathing if they actually had one truly silent night.
3-Jingle Bells: This show would be cancelled before it begins due to choking hazards and lead paint recalls. New episodes planned with wood bells from Holland.
4-Baby, It's Cold Outside: Game show where kids race to see who can get all their winter clothes and gear on, get the clothes off, make a bathroom break, get clothes back on, spend as long as possible in the snow, and consume hot chocolate before their siblings.
5-Frosty the Snowman: Frosty comes to houses and gets the families into shape with his "frozen chair" discipline and time out-side. His healthy approach to eating includes lots of carrots and cooking over coal.
6-One Versus the List: Contestant competes against Santa for one year. Contestant gains "nice" points and loses "naughty" points until the end of the year tallying. If they have a positive end result, they win a new car. Bob Barker comes out of retirement to star as Santa. Ernst and Young tally the points.
7-The Stars are Brightly Wrapping: Celebrities compete in shopping and wrapping competitions in 70's track suits and shorts.
8-Deck the Halls: Decorating show requiring contestants to use only holiday decorations bought in after-Christmas sales to decorate a room in their neighbor's house. No returns available.
9-O Holy Night: Cheese making competion using leftover egg nog.
10-O Christmas Tree: Moms compete to see how many uses they can create for their leftover Christmas tree. The best idea gets a spot on QVC and $100,000 towards their own line of Christmas Tree Creations.

If I had time to spare, I might apply for one of my reality shows as one of my resolutions. In the mean time, I hope everyone has a wonderful New Year!
Amy

Read this feature from past issues.

Hello,
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanakah, Season's Greetings, Happy New Year....
Did I leave any thing out?
I am sure that we all are feeling alittle overwhelmed right about now.
This time of year is so much fun, but fun can be STRESSFUL too.
I learned that in one of my psychology classes. Be careful with fun...it can get ya just like the bad stuff. They say, too much of anything is bad for you.
I'll take my chances with over doing it with the fun stuff.
Since my diagnosis, getting together with friends, family and just events in general--have taken on a new meaning. They mean more to me than before.
I look at my surroundings and see the beauty. I visit with friends and let the small stuff go. I am with family, and remember when I was a kid. The joy of expectation.
I am very appreciative for my life.
I guess we all should live like we have just been diagnosed with cancer.
I wish we could live to the fullest always. But, we are all human. We let the every day get to us.
So, I wish all of you happy holidays. I wish for peace in your family gatherings.
I wish that you get that special gift for yourself.
I wish for health.
But, most of all---I wish for you all to live each day with robust and a zest for life. Colors are brighter. Chocolate tastes like it never has tasted before.
Take a bath.
Eat without regret.......
Love without condition.
Merry Christmas to all.

Sincerely,
~asher

Read this feature from past issues.

Rainy Reminiscences

Things look pretty when it rains. The grass is a true-blue green. The flowers are gorgeous; the trees sublime. Let's face it, everything looks better through waterlogged eyes the way Cybil Sheppard looks better through gauze.
Once about a trillion years ago, give or take a week, it rained oceans. Really. I remember it well. I was an amoeba at the time. Me and my amoeba buddies were just hanging around trying to figure out how to evolve when it started to rain. You should have seen it. It was like Seattle!
A couple oceans later, the sun finally came out. First thing we did was put on sunglasses. (But amoebas don't wear sunglasses, you're thinking. Oh yeah? . . . by then we had evolved into dinosaurs - so there!)
Next thing you know, it started snowing - the biggest snowflakes we ever saw. Somebody said each one was unique and we tried to verify that, but by the time we got two flakes positioned on the slide and the microscope in focus, they were a drink of water.
Then it was cold for a really long time. The world was quiet. Nobody went out except for this one guy who kept insisting on hiking over the Alps in his shorts. One day he got lost, and they found him thousands of years later perfectly preserved in a perfectly round puddle of perfectly melted snow.
From studying the clothes he wore, and the items he was carrying in a crudely fashioned satchel, scientists were able to conclude the following:
a) He was a hunter/gatherer.
b) He was born sometime before the Bronze Age.
c) He wasn't very good at crudely fashioning satchels.

As exciting as the Ice Age wasn't, I still preferred it to the rain. Part of the reason is because nobody had the wherewithal to invent an umbrella until the seventeenth century when it was simultaneously invented by an English Aristocrat named William Shakespeare and, clear across the great Atlantic Ocean in America, by a man named Thomas Edison --- both of whom have since drowned. (I know your thinking this sounds a little fishy and you're wondering if I have my facts straight . . . ok, ok, it might have been the eighteenth century;- happy?)
I'm not exactly sure what the gang and I had evolved into by this time. My memory is hazy. We were either peasants in France or pheasants in pants.
I do remember that by the time we had evolved opposable thumbs, France was heavily into a revolution. You see, the French Revolution was established as just a fun way to teach French nobility how to divide. What would be the size of the fraction, they wondered, if they were to divide, say, Henry the VIII by Louie the XIV's guillotine?
They might have found out too if that dimwitted Marie Antoinette wouldn't have wandered into the way of the experiment. I'm not fond of the rain but it does bring out a reminiscent mood in me.

Blog with Linda! ~ Read her thoughts on "My Empty Nest" at www.OverTheGardenFence.com
Linda has joined the lineup of ejoyable programming at LadybugLive.com. Listen to "Shut the Hell Up Girlfriend." And, did you know: Linda Vernona was a Grand Prize Winner of Bulwer Lytton Fiction Contest.

Read this feature from past issues.

THIS MONTH:

Poetry Corner

New Year Greetings They come but once a year by solar count or twelve by lunar orbit 365 by daily division each day a holiday I wish you all as many recounts as possible all healthy and cheerful the bells will chime and song will fill your spirit and being ring out throughout the galaxies, will echo and resound the cosmos is moved and all the stars are twinkling in unison to say the elements so mixed in woman and man it is for their being that we rotate in symphony to say happy birthday again and again love from us all and all the fauna and flora
Shimon

If you were engaged by Shimon's poem listen to his MooseMeals.com program The View From Anywhere. If you would like to chime in, go listen and send him your comments!

All About Holidays, and Poetry



Read this feature from past issues.

We are serializing Flying Lessons for Butterflies by Sheila Whitman. Sheila Whitman is a Professional Counselor and Life Coach, with a private practice in CT. She has done agency counseling with pregnant and postpartum women, and coordinated a residence for women and children in a domestic violence program. Sheila strives to nurture the potential of her clients, and understands that past or current abuse is incredibly detrimental to this goal of self-actualization. The lessons contained in this book invite the reader to challenge old beliefs, and make concrete changes in self-esteem and creative risk taking. Emphasis is on strategies for altering perceptions and behaviors that may have been distorted during childhood, and the development of a healthy integration of mind, body, and soul. The underlying message is that every individual has great value and can eventually soar to discover his or her best self. Sheila completed her B.S. at Temple University and M.S. at Southern CT State University. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Connecticut and a Registered Professional Counselor in California.
Information about Sheila Whitman's counseling and life coaching can be found on the web site http://www.counselorlifecoach.com/.



Flying Lessons For BUTTERFLIES
How to free yourself from the effects of abuse

Chapter 2
PHYSICAL ABUSE

Lesson 1 - Why do I feel this way?
Children do not understand the nature, reasons, or intent of an abusive adult; their inherently limited perspective makes it nearly impossible to grasp this clearly. Regardless of what happened, or how, you were a child and the perpetrator was not. Any adult who physically misuses a child knows that it is wrong, and does everything possible to frighten and intimidate the child into silence. It is within the adult's power to force, define, deny, and minimize what is happening. Often, the child suffers alone, and this has far reaching effects on development and self-concept.
Many of these children become adults who have difficulty dealing with problems of daily life, and lack a firm concept of themselves. The combined factors of unhealthy adult role models, low self-esteem, and the possibility that the child learned to block out perceptions, may have set the stage for choices that perpetuate their unhappiness.
These adults sometimes enter into dependent, abusive relationships, escape to addiction, or acquire other compulsive habits. Each of these is an old response, applied in a new, self-destructive way: a continuation of childhood attempts to soothe oneself, while coping with abuse and its distorted interpretations. You might question this, or wonder why you have seen these tendencies in yourself, and the reasons are complex.
Relationship problems can develop if a child never learned to set limits, and now has difficulty standing his/her ground. As an adult, he/she may be excessively open and vulnerable to those who want to control, and may feel reassured at first, to meet someone who makes all of the decisions. However, this can too easily become domination and abuse. If you've learned to make accurate judgments about people, and understand how to set boundaries, the likelihood of this happening is considerably less.
The child who learned to run and hide, or flee emotionally from violence, may find that drugs or alcohol offer a comforting retreat in adulthood. Getting high and passing out do work, temporarily, when situations become difficult. Or perhaps they just allow a predictable escape from the rigors of life. In order to face everyday challenges, one must acknowledge their impact, and confront both the internal and external forces. This is a lot to learn, especially when done in conjunction with digging out of addiction or a destructive relationship, but it's an important step on your journey to freedom, health, and peace.
Eating disorders are a problem for some abuse survivors, and represent an attempt to maintain equilibrium, in an out-of-control world, through rigid management of food. This may involve strict dieting, purging, over exercising, and/or use of laxatives. The issue of distorted body image may have its roots in family pressure about weight, or it might be related to sexual abuse. The former child may have learned to binge in secret, then try to rid her body of food. The sexually abused child, as a teen or adult, might overeat to be less attractive, although she is only vaguely aware of this motivation. Some people respond to stress with bingeing and vomiting, as a way to control at least something.
If any of this sounds terribly familiar to you, don't despair. You can begin to recover, possibly with some outside help, and reach much greater understanding of how you arrived at this point. You can make a commitment to become more competent in running your own life, from your heart and mind. You can start by recognizing how you feel, what you think, and what you value, and trusting these as your truths. It will be important to stay with any challenges and solve them, rather than rushing to escape. You are now an adult, with the agility to manage problems and decide what is right for you.
If and when you feel ready, it may help to talk about your abuse, in a safe environment. This has the possibility of setting you free, and may help you to finally accept that the blame belongs to your abuser, rather than you. This is easier said than done, because the messages of secrecy became part of you. You may, in some complicated way, believe that you must protect that other person from exposure, or you may think that no one will believe you. It's best to talk about this with people who understand the dynamics of abuse, such as a group for people who experienced childhood abuse, or a therapist.
It's quite possible that you have never told anyone about what happened. You may have lulled yourself into denial with diluted truths, such as, "it didn't happen often" or "it was only touching" or "he didn't know any better when he was drinking." Whether you decide to tell someone else, or tell yourself in a journal, you may encounter anxiety and fear, because this has been a deeply guarded secret, that no one was supposed to know. Now, you are making the choice to let go of the silence, to whatever degree is helpful to you. You are finally in control of this information.
For some people, there is tremendous release in confronting these events and emotions. However, others become so upset that the harm outweighs the benefits. Attempts to tell their story may reawaken abusive memories that are very distressing, and they may have a sense of regressing, emotionally. When an individual becomes too overwhelmed by talking about the past, it may be preferable to discuss or write about it in a journal, only to the extent that he or she is comfortable, and to place greater emphasis on self-knowledge and healthy new ways of dealing with life. You are the best judge about how you want to proceed with this. The real goal is not to experience prolonged suffering or to fall apart, but to empower yourself, and build your self-understanding and happiness.

Next month: Lesson 2 - Clarify where the responsibility is

To order Flying Lessons for Butterflies: How to free yourself from the effects of abuse:
Contact the author at 203-910-4279 or WhitmanLPC@aol.com

OR

Get information on Domestic violence and violence against women at LadybugBooks.com
We invite any of you to contribute on this subject. We feel it is important to continue the discussion of domestic violence.
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Exceptional Women are Our History and Our Future:

Something new for a new year... Fleenerwerks

Mary Fleener

We often talk about innovation and creativity here at LadybugFlights, but Mary Fleener is one of the most innovative artists we have seen in a long time.
In her own words:
Born in Los Angeles when smog was at an all time high, Hollywood was still glamorous, and every woman's ambition was to own a mink coat. Inherited good art genes from my mother and never wanted to do anything else. Attended Cal State University at Long Beach and majored in Printmaking, but I really learned NOTHING and consider the work I do today as Self Taught.
In 1984, after reading an article in the LA Weekly by Matt Groening about "the new comics", I started drawing and writing my own comic stories. I'd always harbored a secret desire to be a cartoonist, and was greatly influenced by Robert Crumb and MAD MAGAZINE, so I started self-publishing my own "mini comics". First solo comic was HOODOO (1988), a tribute to the Harlem Renaissance writer, Zora Neale Hurston. Her folk tales gave me the idea to illustrate my own "party stories", and the best of these were collected in the book, LIFE OF THE PARTY (1994). This book has been translated into German and the Spanish edition will be out this year.
Some of Mary's images will surprise you...She paints poodles on velvet, for God's sake! but all of them will amuse, amaze, or tease your senses. Yes, even the poodles are something special. Take a look for yourself at MaryFleener.com. You will find images, music, and news about the world of creative arts.

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print this article separately

A little bit in writing about what's happening at
LadybugLive.com, MooseMeals.com, and TeenTalkNetwork.com

Serious and Entertaining
We have it all
News this Month:

Now you can find Words for the Heart and Soul at LadybugLive too.
This month listen to Valerie Bunnell—Arranging Things, a mixed media artist on The Gallery - Creative Traces with Dottie Moore.
If you didn't get a full dose of kids around the house this holiday season, listen in to holiday silliness with Rae Quigley on An Audience of One.

End of the Year
Sweep Up



Reminders from LadybugPress and NewVoices.com

Take a look at the

And the special printing offer...
A Great Way to Keep a Resolution!

More News on changes...
OverTheGardenFence.com is becoming a review site. You will find (or can add your own) information on anything and everything from books to products. Our expert reviewers will be posting regular reviews in the areas of expertise but visitor opinion is welcome. The new site is under construction right now and we are looking for reviewers. For more information go to OverTheGardenFence.com or contact Georgia@ladybugbooks.com.

If you are a writer and would like to become a NewVoices author or artist, contact:
Georgia@ladybugbooks.com
Please use the subject title: NewVoices Information

     It's Not Your Same Old Radio!

"There are people who have something to say and those who have something to sell. We are interested in the ones with something special to teach the world."

For LadybugLive, TeenTalkNetwork, and MooseMeals to continue growing, we need correspondents and readers. The process is quite simple: submissions are by email. If accepted, a reader calls, either our local or our toll free number as directed in the acceptance email, to record. What will you be recording?
We are looking for: readings of original creative work, comment and commentary, and ideas for regularly appearing programming that can be done within this format. We are not able, as yet, to do direct call in shows, but shows that require listener (delayed) response are OK. All of this, of course, within the same guidelines as everything we do: Of interest to women (no particular restrictions). This format might also be ideal for some of those traditional topics, such as clothing and makeup, with a fresh "twist."

Send ideas and proposals to Georgia@ladybugbooks.com
We strive to bring you the best in women's writing.
And...
Keep up to date on what is happening at NewVoices and LadybugFlights by signing up for our monthly newsletter:

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We also offer our audio programs in downloadable MP3 format for offline listening, and at the same modest subscription price — With no unwanted advertising! We know online radio is new to many of you but we also know how rewarding it can be. So, if you need help to get started, don't hesitate to contact Georgia for help... And, hey! Our hosts love hearing from you!
Our teen site, TeenTalkNetwork.com programming is safe — no porn or other unwanted promotions are attached to our files.

The Internet promised and we are delivering.

New programming is always available at:
TeenTalkNetwork.com
MooseMeals.com
LadybugLive

Read this feature from past issues.

This is a personal message

Love Honor and Negotiate

What makes a marriage last a lifetime?

What makes a relationship last a lifetime? I believe that it is a decision we make to accept change in ourselves and our mate. I have been married for 43 years and known my mate for 45+ years. Initially, it was the decision to remain married through the good and bad times because it was the right thing to do that made me stay. However, some years back I came to understand that my marriage was only going to succeed if I was willing to develop the ability to live with and accept change. Accepting this has created a tremendous feeling of security and freedom to self actualize. The ability to honor each other's right to change is the Magic of our relationship.

We have both experienced individual success and failure. The failures, in some cases, have been life changing events that caused each of us to change in significant ways. We truly learned from our failures and have enjoyed and shared our successes. Success and failure are the processes that drive change. Recognizing that we each would have times when we did not like the direction our mate was going, but keeping in mind that change would occur, gives us the basis to accept and relate to each other's point of view. This makes it possible to discuss rather than fight to defend our points of view and actions.

The physical side of a relationship, although not the only factor, is important and not in the sense of how much sex you have or romance, it's knowing your mate better than anyone else and sharing your deepest darkest secrets. It's building this amazing friendship on memories along with passion.

To accept change one needs to hear and understand their mate’s point of view. This can only happen when one listens. Of course neither of us is always in a position to listen so being honest about those times has helped avoid hurt feelings. It is okay to say that you can't listen right now, but will listen just as soon as you can. This requires follow through to build trust that you will really keep your word to listen. This is one important way to honor your mate and build their feeling of trust and security to explore changes your mate wants to undertake.

Your mate must also be your most intimate friend. You must never want to hurt one another. It is not fair if one person is used by the other in a negative or exploitive way. It must be a mutual self-giving and a complete self-giving, and always wanting only the very best for the other. This requires work and dedication to support your mates experiment with life.

The last decade has been the best in many ways. Although we are approaching the end of life we have been fortunate to have reasonably good health and through our mutual efforts can live a comfortable life. However, the most interesting aspect is the energizing feeling we have to try new things and to approach life as if there wasn't a time limit. I believe this is because we both feel that change is an enduring part of life and wipes away the limitations.

So, to my mate: "Thank you for who you have been and who you will be. This is the best life I could have ever imagined. Each change has made you a more interesting and inspiring person."

And on we go!

B.S.

Read more of Beatrice Spreadmoore this month.
Read this feature from past issues.

Are you tired of being lied to? The purpose of this column is to try to sort the fact from the lies in consumerism, both on and off the Internet. If you find a product or company you would like to compliment or blast, please let us know and we will talk about them here.

Sometimes a Scam is not about a theft...
from Georgia Jones

...well, not a theft of things.
I occurred to me that New Years with all of its new beginning symbology was a good time to talk about advertisers. Not what they are selling, but how they sell it.
Most of us are aware that advertising has more in common with brainwashing than it does with research. When you are presented with an item the advertiser wants you to purchase, just telling you, even in glowing terms, is often deemed inadequate by the seller and their advertising representatives. We get used to hearing "new," "improved," "best," "best ever" and "new and improved and the best ever" used without support of meaning. Still, this is a harmless enough misrepresentation. We are all guilty of this one (My children/grandchildren are cuter, smarter, sweeter than yours...) and most of us know how to respond politely without believing a word of it.
The other, more perniscious kind of advertising is represented by the old phrase "Even your friends won't tell you." Fear is not the exclusive tool of terrorists. In fact, the fear of social ostracization is one of the oldest in the world and one that modern advertising mastered early on. Even your best friend won't tell you that you stink...and the result is that you must always assume that you DO smell bad, or would if you did not use the products offered by the advertiser. Now, though, most of us use daily and liberal doses of soap, shampoo, deodorant, and perfume (once used to cover up a smell rather than to replace ones that had been artificially removed by product), and advertisers are entering new realms of human fear.
Watching televison and not silencing the commercials can give you a glimpse into the inner workings of our society that you can't get anywhere else. Todays fear based advertising no longer dwells on social interactions but is focused on the more basic fear of financial security. We can watch the economy tremble as the ads geer up our fear of borrowing and our fear of loss of credit, and garnish that pair with the social fear of not fitting in through having the class appropriate possessions. I saw a car ad the other day where the announcer told me that if I bought their model I would have the "hottest, most desirable features" of the year—please notice that was features not the car itself. They used to sell toys that way, small items readily replaced, not a year's salary "hot item of the season" that will take five years and 20 seasons to pay off.
My point is that fear based advertising is a form of scamming.
Most of the things we buy are things we do not need, in both a survival and an indulgence definition, yet we have to be enticed to keep buying. That is what keeps our economy going. As our manufacturing base is weakened by outsourcing, we have financial services to sell. Most of the subprime lenders who are in trouble now used mass media to advertise their products, yet it is the borrower who is blamed in our society! If you are a buyer, and, again, we must all be, your credit standing is what gives you social standing. Not smelling is not enough to get a date these days. If you have been a buyer, used that social tool of credit, you are now a buyer in trouble and the companies that sell that service are not waiting in line. They are pushing and shoving through your radio, television, and most web pages, demanding that your fear provoke action that will bring them profits.
It is an election period in the United States and we are hearing a lot about "negative advertising." We need to think about how advertising manipulates, especially our fears, whether it seems on the surface to be helpful. There are too many ways we can get scammed without ever knowing what we have lost.

Share your consumer experiences with us: Send us your story and we will print it here.
Read this feature from past issues.

Books, Cooks, Looks & Ms. Elani

Dear Friends and Readers,
...a knack for taking small nuggets known about a person and turning it into a excellent read.
Burning Bright
by Tracy Chevalier
ISBN 9780525949787

Many historical novels are written where little is known about the main character. From the lines in a certain piece of poetry or the scenes in a book a glimpse or trait may be seen. Tracy Chevalier has a knack for taking small nuggets known about a person and turning it into a excellent read. She did that in Girl With a Pearl Earring and has once again produced such a gem in Burning Bright.
During the years of 1792-93 the backstreets of London were teeming with the disgreements of the King of England and the reigning government in France. In a small village on the outskirts of London several families lived, among them the children and Mr. and Mrs. Kellaway who makes chairs and an eccentric and his wife who supported the revolution in France. This radical always dressed in a simple white shirt, black breeches, stockings and an overcoat. He was noted for wearing a bonnet rouge; a woolen red cap with a blue rosette known to be popular in France. This man was the poet William Blake. Near their homes the well known Astley's Circus is practicing for the upcoming season. Add to this cast of characters a young waif named Maggie Butterfield, the streetwise daughter of a father and brother who are drunks, a mother who takes in washing, and you have the setting for a variety of clashes to take place. And they do.
While Blake writes his poems and political posters those around him try to survive in the teeming underworld that exists in Georgian London. WIthin the walls of the pubs, the secrets of the tunnels under the bridges and the fighting in the back alleys the three children reach out to each other, always aware that the words they pass on may be the very ones that bring them harm.

Read this feature from past issues.

From the EDITOR

Share What You CARE About
Say THANKS Where It Counts

This is the time of year when media of all kinds bows to itself and to its work for the past year, makes promises and acknowledges those who are not always in the forefront of the applause meters. We do as much of that here as anywhere else, though I like to think our reasons are a bit different. LadybugFlights would not continue to exist, would certainly not have just celebrated the coming of this day: Our Tenth Anniversary! without the help of a lot of people, most of all our regular columnists who volunteer their time and expertise so this magazine can be free to you and free of advertising.
We want to thank them, of course. We mean that evey time it is said. But this month, on this landmark, we want to do something more. We want to ask you to thank them. If you read Tina, and her information is invaluable, find out what else she is doing and if there is anything you can do to spread the word. The same is true of Irma, whose contributions pop up all over the Internet, and Amy—who not only shares the joys of raising her children with us, but takes time from the demanding schedule of a mother and writer to give us pleasure. Beatrice and Asher are our own special jewels but you could tell them how interesting their insights have been. Shimon would love to see your comments and know that you were interested in his audio show, which often explores the same issues as his poetry. You might want to buy Ms. Elani's, Lane Willey's, new novel; it's worth a few days tucked inside its pages and you already know how she views fiction. Linda Vernon has both an audio show and a blog, and I for one find that there is never enough of Linda's humor for me!
And don't forget our guest columnists. We are forever in their debt for bringing new ideas and outlook to our magazine.
Say thank you to those who give so much to you each year, our wonderful staff here at LadybugFlights and those who touch your life in other ways. Say thank you in a way that shows you care and share what you care about with everyone you know.

Looking forward to another amazing TEN YEARS!

Georgia Jones, Editor

Read this feature from past issues.

At LadybugFlights we have always encouraged the participation of our readers. For that reason we have this space, a place where you can be heard. Nothing as formal as an article or a column... Just some venting, self-expression, or a chance to communicate what you are thinking on almost any topic. Send it to us and we will let you know if we can use it!

Read this feature from past issues.

©January 2008 LadybugBooks.com

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